Gay Celebrity Crap

Separated At Birth

2007-01-12T18:37:00.000-08:00

Owen Wilson and Big Bird. I'm probably not the first to point this out.

Messy Marvin

2006-12-26T15:12:00.000-08:00

I watched A Christmas Story with my parents yesterday, and we started wondering what Peter Bilingsley had been up to since. Found that info on Unique Daily.

Went looking for info on the rumors about the kind who played Flick after that. No luck, but I found Flick's Tongue.

Happy Holidays

2006-12-25T12:16:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, happy Festivus, good Life Day to ye, and happy Kwanzza

Cross posted at The Hand Of Munger

Is All This Junior High Crap Even Legal?

2006-12-22T12:40:00.000-08:00

Here are some of Paris Hilton's private letters to Nick Carter, whoever the hell that is. Is Paris Hilton actually a real person, with special feelings and everything? Because if she is, I'm not sure we should be doing this stuff.

Lorraine's Car

2006-12-21T22:31:00.000-08:00

Been looking for this for one awhile. "Cake Like" is a pretty crappy band name, googlewise. You go looking for them, you get recipies.

Cute With An Odd Haircut Now Officially Same As Ugly

2006-11-03T17:56:00.000-08:00

According to the Guess The Ugly Celebrity Kid game.

While I'm brightening your day, here's a Joe Pesci rap video and two Dr. Phil soundboards. You're welcome.

Sexual fantasies of Drew Barrymore displayed wonderfully

2006-10-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

That's what it says.

Gay, Crappy Celebrity Games

2006-10-04T17:19:00.000-07:00

Here's a not entirely timely link to a Mel Gibson game which seems to suggest that he's got some issues with alchohol and Jews.

Here's Conan O'Brian The Barbarian. Cimmarian/Mick parallism: Not funny. Game: Better than most Mario knockoffs.

Here's a Sarah Michelle Gellar puzzle. A little easier than the sliding tile type of puzzle.

Vaguely tetrisoid game with a picture of Carmen Electra in it for some reason. Too bad there isn't some simpler way of getting pictures of her from the internet.

A Jennifer Love Hewit reflex test. I must have read something good about her somewhere, because I seem to like her now and I'm pretty sure that's got nothing to do with The Ghost Whisperer.

One of those face warper things.

- Announcement -

2006-09-27T16:51:00.000-07:00

If anything on this blog offends you, then I'm just playing a character. Like a foriegner or a faggot or something.

Lindsay Lohan Fun Facts

2006-09-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

1. In China, she is known as "Rinsay Rohan".

2. Talking dogs also know her as "Rinsay Rohan". Coincidence? Probably.

3. She may be changing her nickname to "walrus armpit crotch". That last link is worksafe, if you are a cootchie doctor, and not prurient, unless you are a walrus with an armpit fetish.

4. Orangutans and the Irish are technically entirely seperate species.

5. Lindsay Lohan is actually a fictional character who has been played by several different actresses, including Ann Margaret and Nicole Ritchie.

6. If you google Lindsay Lohan for an hour or so, you will feel like a creepy old man.

Was going to make a longer list, but I want to take advantage of a possible Ace-alanch, and I'm also afraid that she might drop dead or something, thus rendering this all quite unfunny. Leave your Lohan fun facts in comments.

Russell Crowe Has B.O.

2006-09-12T17:34:00.000-07:00

I think I read something to that effect a long time ago in the Weekly World News or something, but I thought they were just making it up for the rhyme. They didn't actually use the obvious rhyme though, I thought it might be like that Cockney slang where they just set it up and you're supposed to figure it out yourself.

Vehicular Crapulence Most Foul

2006-09-07T15:28:00.000-07:00

When I first heard that Paris Hilton had been arrested, I really hoped that something cool had happened, like she'd robbed a bank. But it's just the same exact crime every other celebrity commits every week. If that's a crime, then why do we let famous people drive at all?

My First Link Dump

2006-09-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

Katie Couric needs a sign-off catchphrase. I was thinking along the lines of "Layta mofos", "bye-bye shmoopy", or "end transmission".

Suri Cruise is gay! I just want to be in on the ground floor of a rumor here.

From Cracked, the magazine from which I got my "Be Alert - The world needs more lerts" poster as a lad: The Five Most Absurd Moments In Video Music Awards History, People Magazine's Fifteen Most Ludicrous Celebrity Write-Ups, and The Five Most Obviously Drug-Fueled TV Appearances Ever.

Appropos of nothing, I've always wondered why nobody dosen't like Tommy Lee. Aren't we all supposed to hate wife-beaters? Let's get on the same page here, people. His weewee isn't THAT huge either, think back to PE, we've all seen bigger. Also, people hate rats for spreading disease, and they're kind of cute.

Sites that link GCC. Actually, those are sites where I've plugged it in comments.

It Can't ALL Be Gay

2006-09-05T19:46:00.001-07:00

Via Ghost Of A Flea, an interview with one Zayra Alvarez, who is apparently the ginchiest. I haven't watched it myself yet, I'm posting it mainly to confirm what I keep telling people - that Kennedy still exists.

Live And Learn

2006-08-30T19:11:00.000-07:00

I finally saw Snakes On A Plane last Friday, and I learned some things:

1 - Whenever blond women fall down, they loose consciousness.

2 - Caucasians' reflexive response to snakes is to swat at them ineffectually with rolled up newspapers.

3 - Julianna Margulies Es Muy Muy Sexuale. No one told me she was in it!

4 - The actor I was assuming was named Timmy Bateman was in fact, Nathan Phillips.

5 - Snake-O-Vision is green and blurry.

6 - Watching a woman suck pus from a child's arm is HOT. Maybe just to black guys though.

7 - If someone in a bullet proof vest is bitten by a snake, you should shoot them. The vest will protect them from the blow and the ensuing plummet.

OK, I guess I'm out, let's see if the comments work here, we should be able to make this a top 20 list, easy.

Can You Help?

2006-08-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

Sad news today. Apparently Linsay Lohan's cat has been abducted by some kind of cyborg, and she can only get it back by flying around in her jet-pack, collecting stars. Good luck Ms Lohan!

The Winds Of Freedom Blow

2006-08-30T18:20:00.000-07:00

Unimaginitive self-parody is now legal in Germany. What an age we live in!

Appropos of nothing, check out Cracked's CelebScoop while you're here. Try to find out if they like me, you can pass me a note later in gym.

Meow!

2006-08-30T16:28:00.000-07:00

I did a little etymological research via Google, and I found out why Paris Hilton called Lindsay Lohan a Fire Crotch. It turns out she has red hair, like some kind of baby eating Irish person! Who knew?