Live And Learn

I finally saw Snakes On A Plane last Friday, and I learned some things:

1 - Whenever blond women fall down, they loose consciousness.

2 - Caucasians' reflexive response to snakes is to swat at them ineffectually with rolled up newspapers.

3 - Julianna Margulies Es Muy Muy Sexuale. No one told me she was in it!

4 - The actor I was assuming was named Timmy Bateman was in fact, Nathan Phillips.

5 - Snake-O-Vision is green and blurry.

6 - Watching a woman suck pus from a child's arm is HOT. Maybe just to black guys though.

7 - If someone in a bullet proof vest is bitten by a snake, you should shoot them. The vest will protect them from the blow and the ensuing plummet.

OK, I guess I'm out, let's see if the comments work here, we should be able to make this a top 20 list, easy.

Can You Help?

Sad news today. Apparently Linsay Lohan's cat has been abducted by some kind of cyborg, and she can only get it back by flying around in her jet-pack, collecting stars. Good luck Ms Lohan!

The Winds Of Freedom Blow

Unimaginitive self-parody is now legal in Germany. What an age we live in!

Appropos of nothing, check out Cracked's CelebScoop while you're here. Try to find out if they like me, you can pass me a note later in gym.

Meow!

I did a little etymological research via Google, and I found out why Paris Hilton called Lindsay Lohan a Fire Crotch. It turns out she has red hair, like some kind of baby eating Irish person! Who knew?